The Broken Road

This morning I got to thinking about how easy it is to keep my head low, complete with sinking emotions as I consider the past that sometimes won't stay in the past. Some people struggle with their past as it relates to their own sinful actions toward others but I manage to dredge back up the wrongs done to me. My poor, broken road. But does ANYBODY have an UNbroken road? I guess there are a few. But looking around and taking stock at my friendships, un-broken roads appear to be very rare. And my very own savior had the most broken road one can have and He CHOSE it. I will come down this path again, I know it. The path of self-pity. But today I am remembering and rejoicing that the broken path has made me into the woman I am. I know what it is to feel pain and rejection by those whom I love anyway. The grace of God gives this to me and I am so grateful! My pain and rejection help me to feel the pain and rejection of others, just as it has been ordained by my Lord. And the real truth is that somehow, in some way, I am being more and more transformed into the likeness of Christ. I know this truth because "for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified." Romans 8:28-30 Oh, Lord, help me to raise my head and forge ahead into the mission field. I cannot serve you or fight while I sit crumpled in a heap over the past.

The Beauty of the Lord

I woke up this morning feeling the Lord with me. There is nothing more precious, sweet, or peaceful than the presence and love of the Lord. I am in awe that He chose me....often wondering, "Why, oh, Lord, when I fail so much?". But His love remains. He is my Portion, my Redeemer. These are things so difficult to expain to those who are not Followers of Christ. My prayer is, "Lord, open their eyes that they might see and their ears that they might hear!". And Lord, continue to reveal Yourself to me that I might become more like You. That I might share, without restraint, Your Greatness!

Acceptable In Your Sight

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalms 19:14

Thankful for Thinking

This morning I've been listening to the first panel discussion
http://desiringgod.org/resource-library/conference-messages/speaker-panel-with-deyoung-parsons-piper-and-tchividjian#/listen/full

from the Desiring God - Think Conference this past weekend in Minneapolis, MN. About 3/4 way through one of the panelists begins discussing the lack of spiritual mentoring by elder men and women in the body of Christ. The vast majority seem to be "going it alone" for various reasons.

But I am praising God for his provision for me in this arena. When I have thoughts or questions, I have a healthy number of men and women that regularly "go there" with me to ponder and search the Scriptures for deeper revelation and answers. I have also discovered that when I initiate spiritual conversation with people, they sometiems are willing to share right back. Not always, and not even most of the time... but sometimes. And the substance of those conversations refresh the soul and the intellect, leaving a most vibrant and alive-ness found no place else in my social life.
It's like a pulsating, moving, living thing rather than the dried up and dead triviality that drives other interaction.

So, to all of you who read this blog... you are part of this organism I love so much. I hope it's as good for you as it is for me, because because we get to spend eternity together!!! :)

Am I Special?

The Bible is all true and inerrant. Adam and Eve sinned for the first time and death entered the world as intimate fellowship with God was interrupted. Jesus, God in the flesh, came to make propitiation for sin, taking the due penalty of death and God's wrath upon Himself. Anyone who believes and trusts in Jesus for the forgiveness of sin and does the will of the Father receives eternal life.

Does my belief in these fundamentals of Christianity make me special? Have I somehow been touched by the finger of God in a way other believers are not - a way that enables me to believe MORE in these truths? Am I one of the few that realizes how half-truth telling is sinful? Is the Bible not very clear?

Foolishness to the World

I Corinthians 1:18-31
"18For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.
19 For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.
20 Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?
21 For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe.
22For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom:
23 But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness;
24 But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God.
25 Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
26 For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
27 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
28 And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
29 that no flesh should glory in his presence.
30 But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption:
31 That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord."

As I read this passage this morning, it came alive to me. Every day I see people in the "Science" world and young adults living in the so called"wisdom" of the world. They do not understand the Wisdom of God, seeing it as foolishness which only keeps them from their fleshly desires. They fulfill the desires of their flesh and neglect their spiritual man leaving it empty, not understanding true contentment comes from filling that void with God. They live for the moment, everseeking peace and contentment, but never finding them even though "He is not far from us all. For in Him we live, and move and have our being." Acts 17: 27b-28a.

Dust

Psalm 103:14 For He knoweth our frame; He remembereth we are dust.

Oh to grace how great a debtor
daily i'm constrained to be
Let thy goodness, like a fetter
bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it
prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart O, take and seal it
seal it for thy courts above

New every morning.

It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22 - 23

No More Excuses

I just finished reading the Francine Rivers book "A Voice in the Wind." Since then I have felt so convicted about my own lack of witnessing to others. Why is it that I can speak so freely of my Jesus with my Christian friends, people at church, my family, places where there is no threat of embarassment or ridicule, but in other places or situations, I never say a word, even when given ample opportunity?

Then the other day Jenn sent me a link to a youtube video, where the story of an older man who witnessed to ten people a day was told. I became more convicted throughout the day as I came up with so many different excuses as to why I couldn't do that. What would people say? This isn't a city, it's just a small town...everyone would think I was strange...just because that was the way he felt he should witness, doesn't mean I have to do it that way...I'm busy, I homeschool, have the littles all day...the excuses are plentiful.

I know what the answer is. I am afraid of rejection, afraid of what others will think, do, or say. In Judges 6:12, the angel of the Lord appears to Gideon while he is working in his father's field and says to him, "the Lord is with you, you mighty man of (fearless) courage." Why did he say that? Gideon was beating wheat in the winepress to hide it from the Midianites. He doesn't sound mighty or fearless at all! I think God was showing Gideon what he saw in him. He saw what Gideon could be through His power. Gideon didn't know what was going to happen, his faith was small. He asked for a test twice, to make sure this was God's will for him. I can see so much of myself when I read about Gideon. Gideon did make the choice, he overcame his fears. He triumphed for the Lord with his small little army.

When I see myself as small and timid, when I am full of fear, when I question should I speak up or remain silent, I am going to think of Gideon, who was from the poorest clan and was the least in his father's house, yet through him God worked mightily.

I am purposing to let this year be the year that I stop making excuses, stop thinking of myself and just be the woman that God sees, to let Him work his mighty power through me. No matter what task He gives me, even if it is just to be at home with my littles, I am going to do my best to let it be His will, not mine.

New Year's Resolutions?

January 1...The day many people stop and review.... analyzing their life wondering how they can make it better. I have to say I also usually take this day to reflect on the past year and what things I want to be different this coming year. A few things I pray I will focus on this year....

1. Deut 6:5 May I truly and completely love the Lord with all of me!

2. Deut 6:7 May I continue to teach my children of the goodness and truth of the Lord God.

3. II Tim 4:2-5 May I be ready to minister and allow God to give me the boldness to do His work...fulfill my ministry! Jeremiah 20:9--per our conversations, Steph.

4. Jeremiah 15:16 May I continue to love the Word for it so often has sustained me in the time of trial.

5. Deut 4:9 May I diligently keep my soul before Him and not forget all His benefits (Psalms 103:2). May I be reminded continually and also remind my children of these things!

6. Romans 12:1-2 May I present myself to the Lord completely and "be transformed by the renewal of my mind"....and not conform to the world.

7. I Peter 5:7 May I cast all of my anxieties on Him and rest in His forgiveness and love....for I have allowed these anxieties to hinder my walk and my work for Him.

To have reckless abandon for Him not allowing my common sense to get in the way!!