No More Excuses

I just finished reading the Francine Rivers book "A Voice in the Wind." Since then I have felt so convicted about my own lack of witnessing to others. Why is it that I can speak so freely of my Jesus with my Christian friends, people at church, my family, places where there is no threat of embarassment or ridicule, but in other places or situations, I never say a word, even when given ample opportunity?

Then the other day Jenn sent me a link to a youtube video, where the story of an older man who witnessed to ten people a day was told. I became more convicted throughout the day as I came up with so many different excuses as to why I couldn't do that. What would people say? This isn't a city, it's just a small town...everyone would think I was strange...just because that was the way he felt he should witness, doesn't mean I have to do it that way...I'm busy, I homeschool, have the littles all day...the excuses are plentiful.

I know what the answer is. I am afraid of rejection, afraid of what others will think, do, or say. In Judges 6:12, the angel of the Lord appears to Gideon while he is working in his father's field and says to him, "the Lord is with you, you mighty man of (fearless) courage." Why did he say that? Gideon was beating wheat in the winepress to hide it from the Midianites. He doesn't sound mighty or fearless at all! I think God was showing Gideon what he saw in him. He saw what Gideon could be through His power. Gideon didn't know what was going to happen, his faith was small. He asked for a test twice, to make sure this was God's will for him. I can see so much of myself when I read about Gideon. Gideon did make the choice, he overcame his fears. He triumphed for the Lord with his small little army.

When I see myself as small and timid, when I am full of fear, when I question should I speak up or remain silent, I am going to think of Gideon, who was from the poorest clan and was the least in his father's house, yet through him God worked mightily.

I am purposing to let this year be the year that I stop making excuses, stop thinking of myself and just be the woman that God sees, to let Him work his mighty power through me. No matter what task He gives me, even if it is just to be at home with my littles, I am going to do my best to let it be His will, not mine.